Friday, March 28, 2008

Shoot Yourself in the Foot!

!WARNING! If you're not a major nerd or geek you won't get these jokes!
Recently a friend of mine sent me some funny additions to the Shoot Yourself in the Foot! list. The list is a humours look a the logic you might need to "shoot yourself in the foot" in different programming languages. Here are his suggestions:
You try to shoot yourself in the foot, but the gun refuses
to go off because it doesn't have appropriate space around it.

You quickly create your own gun and shoot yourself in the
foot. Witnesses are unable to explain what happened. No one else can
figure out how to use the gun.


Your prototype gun admirably shoots feet during testing,
but in production many users' hands are incompatible

As you pull the trigger, the gun's barrels surge
impressively to life. The muzzles flash, smoke billows, and the ring
of pounds of expelled brass is barely audible over the deafening
gunfire. After the smoke clears, your foot is unaffected and you
realize nothing seems to have happened.

Here are a few of my own additions/revisions:

Visual Basic 6
You take advantage of the very handy ShootMyselfInTheLeftFootOnce() method and wait three years for M$ to release a ShootMyselfInTheRightFootOnce() method.

You spend several hours browsing through Intellisense drop downs and the object browser looking for the right combination of .Net classes and methods to shoot your foot and eventually decide to port the Java libShootMyFoot library.

You decide to take advantage of the libShootMyFoot library. After days of scanning painfully abstract API documentation you realize that, through some complex twist of logic that still can only be understood by developers working for Sun, the libShootMyFoot library was never intended to be used for shooting feet.

Please post any additons you would like to see!